Slept/drum & bass/jungle/hardcore/cleaning/shopping/etc

I THOUGHT I WAS running out of energy, having spent most of the night awake, then pinging down the chemist for my methadone, then going home, then having a black coffee for energy (physically tired), then another coffee, then having the most fun cleaning I've ever had in my life. Then feeling physically like I was on speed. Then feeling like I was going to have a panic attack.

Physically exhausted, I put myself to bed, saying "you are ill, and you are mentally ill, lie down, this will pass" ~ so I slept the expected two hours till it sounded like Loose Women or Doctors was on (different channels; couldn't have been both) ... I put the covers over me like a tent and slept some more, aching all over and genuinely feeling ill. Then I got up feeling so hungry I was sick. I seem to have lost a stone in weight: or the scales I found on the street were inaccurate. I've no idea. [One stone is 14 lbs or about 6.5kg.]

This evening I did some irritating little things I had to. Then shopping. Morrisons supermarket. Tex Mex pizza. Best ever. The self service till was like a robot at a hardcore rave. Please please scan (an) the next itemplease scan WAIT FOR AN ASSISTANT!!) lots of fun. And that pizza is amazing. I only had chips (which are Iceland American style curly fries (do they actually have curly fries in America? These are lovely). Then Holby City (hospital drama) came on. I missed EastEnders.

I'm scanning the radio for decent pirate stuff. The drum and bass they're playing sounds a good 17 years old! Proper Ragga Jungle. That's what I'm looking for.

Drink is down to 2 cans at 7.5% ABV ie 1 litre. It's up to 85p a can! Will this torment never cease??!! Nah, don't wanna be a drinker all my life. The alcohol is GOING!

Now I have to not drink coffee, which I appear to be hypersensitive to. I mean this was full on speeding on TWO cups normal one heaped teaspoon. Coffee has never been quite that strong before. I mean, this was physical, hence the anxiety. The highest hyper highs I have had have been totally out of sync with any coffee drinking. E.g. the Mental Hospital Day ~ hadn't had a cup for five hours. Had only had one or possibly two. Don't need caffeine. Nicotine has to go as well. Cigarettes are a terrible poison. Why should I be dependent on outside drugs to poison myself.

Now I have to finish what I barely started that is clearing crap I don't know what is relevant or not. No I'm not allowed a flamethrower, which would make clearing up far easier. Yeah yeah highly irresponsible I know so it's boring old chucking out. Let me indulge a fantasy once or twice. So now the hunt is on for Proper "Old Skool" as they call it to make me feel ancient (ie hardcore rave 1991, 1992) or Ragga Jungle (probably won't find that) or ancient sounding but probably modern rapid drum & bass with an overgrown schoolboy running out of rhymes on top.

Traaaaaaaa!!!! How are y'all. See I'm not irritably ranting tonight. Clean clean clean and cleaner. Clean me clean up. Live a clean life. Clean and Serene. That's me goal ;-)



21:29 London Radio: Eh, the Greek stuff ain't bad...
01:22 hrs Love FM Live .com (lovefmlive.com) good garage after midnight

A degree of competence is required ...

MY EMAIL GOT READ OUT ON THE BBC (AGAIN!)

Anne Diamond, former presenter of breakfast TV, was standing in for Vanessa Feltz who's on her hols. I've phoned in and spoken to Anne Diamond before now and have to say she's very engaging. I can see why she's such an illustrious track record in presenting... Anyway here goes. A level results were out today. The conversation yesterday (on BBC London radio 94.9) was about young people going to university and the extortionate cost of this:

Good morning Anne
In days gone by ~ generally speaking ~ a degree was was a luxury. Three years off in which to delve into a subject of personal interest. The resulting degree proves to future employers that you're intelligent enough and have the sticktoitiveness to achieve a bachelor of arts or science.
With the exception of some science subjects and perhaps law, the degree never was meant to "qualify" you for anything in particular.
The problem nowadays is that with so very many young people going to university, a degree no longer sets you apart. As far as I can see, in most cases it merely gets you into debt.
In my day~ two decades ago ~ the standing joke was "What do you say to a sociology graduate? Burger and fries please." Change that to "media studies" and you're bang up to date!
Nearly 20 years ago I read modern languages at uni, but sadly had to drop out due to health difficulties. Knowing what I do now, I would advise a young person to take a vocational course with a clear career goal at the end of it, or to do languages. At least languages are useful and open up opportunities to work abroad.
I would dearly like to go back and finish my languages degree, but this time I'm working on getting my German fluent enough to get on a mother tongue German course actually in Germany ~ where tuition fees, incidentally, are a fraction of what they are here.

The health problems that forced me to drop out were basically depression. I was signed off an entire term on medical grounds at one point. When I left, I was coming to a point where I had to go to Berlin ~ a year to which I'd really have looked forward, if I'd only been in my right mind. But I was not in my right mind at all. Taking a year out or "intercalating" was not an option as I had no means of support and the DSS did not at this time pay benefits to anyone who was a registered student ~ whether actively studying or not.
All modern languages courses require a year out in the appropriate country. The only course I've ever come across that doesn't is Burmese at SOAS. The Burmese language has the world's most beautiful system of writing. And a degree in Burmese ain't gonna be any less useful than one in English literature or sociology, is it..?.For obvious reasons, a year spent in Burma is not too practicable.
And it was indeed the idea of doing a German degree again that got me reading and blogging in that language. I remember my former counsellor, who'd done BA French, informing me it was quite normal for degree students to rely on English translations when doing European literature. Which I found truly pathetic. (I thought it was just me and my dreadful command of languages who was reduced to this, but apparently not at all...)
So I decided if I ever did go back I would know German well enough to surf through all books in the original first time around. And no reference to any translation. At all. Ever ...


ENYA: EXILES
I've found this tune going round and round my brainbox of late. Cold as the northern wind and December mornings ... It matches my mood ... For a couple of weeks now I've had an unaccountable autumnal feeling, despite it still being "summer". Summer is over for me. Darkness surrounds us. I feel it. O, how I feel it..



COMPETITION ANSWER:
No prize, except the satisfaction of knowing how knowledgeable y'are... the squiggles are GABELSBERGER SHORTHAND in the German language. Unlike traditional English language systems which are geomatric (Pitman, Sloane-Duployan) or cursive-geometric (Gregg), Gabelsberger's method employed a full shorthand alphabet (as the hieroglyphic-looking Teeline system does in English), giving the squiggly appearance. It has been praised for having "a beauty of form and outline that is unsurpassed". it can also be squiggled, so it is claimed, at speeds of up to 500 syllables per minute, which ain't bad!

Hot, exhausted day

IT WAS 28 DEGREES CENTIGRADE TODAY. For London this is hot. I'm sweating like a swine. It's ten minutes to ten at night and only just getting dark. High summertime!

I'M STILL EXHAUSTED. I slept nearly all night; then what do I do but spend half the day asleep from sheer exhaustion too!

I wish I had something interesting to post. Not really. Flapper the wood pigeon appears to have upped and left. I think he is having an affair.

My friend's dog, who is so elderly he looks like a little silver-grey donkey, has had an operation. Every time I see him he's in his basket with the most forlorn expession on his face. I have never seen a doggie look so sad. I think he is in pain. I hope he's OK.

I heard a radio feature today called Home Thoughts from Abroad, where the BBC take London-based correspondents from the foreign press and give them open mike to hold forth on any aspect of life in the UK that interests them. Today's broadcast, by die Zeit journalist John F Jungclaussen basically outlines the reasons why I want out of Britain. That we are becoming ever increasingly authoritarian and less and less free.

If you want to hear it you can listen online (from anywhere worldwide), click here.

Deutsche-in-London.net review of programme.

Keywords/Schlüsselwörter: exhausted verbraucht; sheer exhaustion absolut Erschöpfung; wood pigeon Ringeltaube; to appear erscheinen; to up and leave abhauen; elderly ältlich; donkey der Esel; basket der Korb; forlorn öde; expression der Ausdruck; hold forth sich über etwas auslassen; broadcast Sendung; authoritarian autoritär

Doggies down the park...

I MET three lovely/cute/furry trotter dogs ... One, a tiny mop-head mongrel terrier like the one in the photograph was having a ping along the side of the canal. He wouldn't come when called as was more interested in sniffing odours of lady doggies on clumps of dandelions... I didn't notice he was there till I glanced up from my Sun newspaper to see the tiny trotter standing at my feet smiling the way doggies do. Then of course he scampered off leaving me wishing I'd asked what breeds they thought he was crossed from...
Doggie number two I didn't get a photo of and wouldn't be able to dig up a photo like him. Another tiny small dog, not necessarily terrier. Had ears in the stocks, like bits of black flannel tied to his head, black and white patches all over him and a showdog's bearing (standing square on all fours, slightly forward-leaning), his tail was remarkable, sticking straight up, like a furry fountain, or a handle for grabbing the swine! It wouldn't surprise me if he was a Chinese temple dog cross, or something like that... This little doggie was pinging all over the park. The owner saw me staring and kept turning to look at me, glaring suspiciously because I had dared do a double take on his rambling canine... People!
Finally I was about to go when a shambling woman mutters past me with a young Staff on a lead. I looked at her twice then she looked at me then I realized she didn't just look like my old friend Carla it WAS her. We got talking for ages as Bobby the dog went pigeon-chasing. Carla's boyfriend has just run out on her so she was all over the place in tears. At first I asked whether it was hayfever and she just cried more.
At one point her dog shot off like a heatseeking missile... not after the pigeons but after another dog so far away it was barely a speck to us... thankfully on the other side of a chainlink fence because Bobby was barking his head off. Then Carla yelled Bobby, BOBBY! ~ To my astonishment the doggie-missile came rocketing back and ran round Carla waging his tail. "Come back to Mummy, that's right, that's right," she said. When I expressed surprise that her dog actually obeys her because so many people seem unable to handle their pets she said "oh I can't do scatty dogs".
Then we got talking about rottweilers and staffs and akitas and mop-head terriers and she said "yeah: they're much more faithful than PEOPLE. At least they're loyal."
She also told me there are now rehabs that will take in tiny terriers etc. Not because the furries have been shooting up gear but because their owners have.
Well that's an interesting idea. But I'm not sure I can have my doggie now. What would the poor swine do when I went to college? Run up and down yapping in the corridors of Higher Euro-babble as I locked myself in the simultaneous translator's booth? You gotta consider these things, and that's one big reason why I didn't just run out and get a puppy the second the idea grabbed me (and it certainly grabbed me as y'all know)... I knew I'd always intended to travel in the future. Travelling with a doggie does cut down one's options on what to do, where to stay and all...

The computer's resonating with the most amazing ambient techno direkt aus Deutschland! ~ thanks to live-streaming from Deutsche Funk's DRadioWissen station... I'm rock and rolling at 3am:~ luvverly!
Funk means broadcasting. They don't call themselves Funk because they are funky... they just happen to be Phunkey as well!

Deutsche Funk Startseite: http://www.dradio.de/dlf/

PS: That doggie pictred top reminds me of a Coronation Street actor... he played some kind of writer or poet... can anyone remind me of the actor or character's name..?

NOTE TO SELF: Deutsche Welle www.dw-world.de/dw/0,,265,00.html

RE languages, I think I've caused confusion. Language competence is most commonly graded with the CEFR scale, running from A1 (most basic) through A2, B1, B2, C1 to C2 (near-perfect). According to CEFR, I have German to roughly B2 and would aim for C1 in order to get on the course; French is about the same. So far I've focused on reading books, magazines and websites. Though I talk about "learning" I do already speak well enough to go and live abroad. But for academic study I need to brush up on the written language and grammar.
Dutch I can already read well enough to understand the gist of newspaper articles, websites etc ~ basically because it's so similar to German. If I put in the work I should be able to express myself at A1 within a few weeks. To get on a course I'd aim for C1 competence.
So I'm not "learning three languages" I'm brushing up two and starting a third from scratch...
CEFR Scale: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_European_Framework_of_Reference_for_Languages

City Lit is the best place to go for language evening classes ~ they offer 20 languages.
I have to be careful about using up government funding, but it looks like I could go for level 5 classes German and French
City Lit prospectus www.citylit.ac.uk/resources/Languages_summerguide2010.pdf
City Lit "what level?" www.citylit.ac.uk/courses/languageassessment