On Doctor-Drugs

I'M ON DRUGS AGAIN! The Doctor's Risperidone stuff. It knocked me right out. I don't like the feeling of being brought down. I was very peeved (to put it nicely) last night. I watched something to do with baying furry huskies in the arctic. They remind me of Japanese or American akitas (American ones came over after the defeat of Japan in World War II, they're generally bigger and furrier and come in patterns the Japanese wouldn't consider "right"). Akita dogs seem to have a fairly reserved temperament. They don't run up to people they don't know, though one once did to me and stared into me, very intense, not aggressive, just looking at me. She had beautiful fur. She used to go walkies in my Dealer Park.

Anyway I was TRYING to keep relevant and on topic.

I woke up after 8 hours sleep at the very shortest. It was probably closer to 9. 10-6, though the last bit was me awake going uuuuuuuuuh?!? zonked out of my head on this antipsychotic stuff.

My head was going quick. I know the sign. Waking up with loud very fast music going round my brain is NOT what used to happen. Also the strange sense that my head is echoing outside itself (that is I can hear the echoes) even when that happened before it didn't happen within 5 mins of waking up.

I learned about symptoms from a self-help guide re depression. It says the first to come on are usually the last to go, which is why I put them down, even though I'm not depressed. I hoped I wasn't going there last night I was in a pretty bad mood. Anyway before I go in a complete loop that's all there is...

... and this in italics happened when one sentence was struck down:~

Lizzy is talking to me on the other screen on Gabbly. I think she is rushing about between bits of toast, hairbrushes and coffee. Lizzy would never smoke cigarettes. She is a nurse... Now (10 mins later) she's gone to work.

oh yeah and "turning into pure energy" (yesterday) was a feeling more than an idea (not a delusion!) (methinks he doth protest too much, ha ha!)

Illustrated: American akitas (can you see why I was slightly nervous when one ran directly up to me in a park, you wouldn't want to mess with one); snake biting its tail, how I tend to go ~ in circles ~ no I don't think I'm a pair of gold earrings; "pure energy" google brought this up, not what I was looking for but it looks nice

MOZART: REQUIEM; LACRIMOSA - CLASSICAL
ok far as i know, lacrimosa is the decent part of mozart's requiem and lacrimosa means sadness or sad. crying sad not utterly pathetic. mozart is a lot of things, pathetic is not one of them!



MOZART: REQUIEM TRANCED UP
with pictures



MOZART: REQUIEM TRANCED UP
faster and bassier than the old version

Confession

I'M NOW ONLY ONE DAY CLEAN. Last night I wanted to score. I turned the idea over and over in my mind. I wiped my old text messages then a new one appeared, timed fifteen minutes earlier. This was from Dealer #1, the one who used to sell giant £20 bags. So I thought: You want it that much. You get it. So I did.

In a way there's nothing to post because the gear was so crap* that drugs-wise I might as well have chucked £15 down the drain and saved a perfectly good needle. It cooked up far too dark. It smelled of heroin being smoked, rather than cooked (a different smell). I thought that's odd. When I tasted a droplet: nothing. So I banged up the entire lot at once and felt the faintest opiate tinge for all of 45 seconds.

All I've done is ruin my number of Days Clear, not get high, throw £15 away.

On the plus side I got the craving to use out of my system. The same way I gave up crack two years ago, yet wondered back six or seven times afterwards, I never wanted it again the next day. I just remembered why I hated it that much. I no more want to use again than a person who went to Disney Land on Monday would wish they were on a rollercoaster again Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Heroin is a spectre from a past life. More a ghoul than a spectre. A monster who tries to deceive: You give me everything, then I'll give you More! Somehow, in the end, it didn't work.

So don't worry about me, I won't be hurrying back any time soon. I have Caramel Baileys, mince pies and temazepam, so I'm well sorted for Xmas.

Hope y'all have a Merry One one too. If it can't be Merry then may it be Tolerable. If you're 100% substance-free then may it be Serene (and of course Clean).


Plus I hope 2011 is better for you than this Bag-o-Shite year ever was!!

The doggie is an American Akita, the sort of dog I really want.

I'll be online on Gabbly tomorrow so if anyone wants to talk I'll be there.

*To anyone who hasn't followed, there has been a severe drought in the British heroin supply for over 2 months; that's why my formerly reliable dealer was selling crap. It's hard to find a constant, reliable source of heroin anywhere now.

Pets, past and future ~

These are some pets I'd most like to have... and actually have had.

FURRY FRIDAY ON SATURDAY


Akitas are one of the oldest pure-breeds of dog in the world. The American Akita was taken back from Japan by American troops after World War II. It is bigger and furrier than its Japanese counterpart. Whenever I see one down the local park, I want to kidnap it. One came up and stared me right in the eyes. I was down on the grass, so we were eye to eye. She just stared into me. Very intense. Akitas are loyal and dignified and very Japanese. Similar in character to Alsatians or Rottweilers. They are used in Japan as police dogs. I have never heard one bark.


An idea of their size!


The puppies are well known for being savage and wild. This is pretty obvious when you take a look at one:


My favourite little dogs are Norwich terriers. If I got a small dog I wouldn't care too much about breed. The type I'm on about tends to show up in Rescue Home catalogues named "Scruffy". If you've seen "Scruffy", you know the dog I want. Every animal shelter has a Scruffy.


Chinchillas look like rabbits from Mars. They need a big cage, a huge wheel and a "marble", that is, a stone slab you can stick in the freezer for them to lie on in summer. Chinchillas come from the high Andes and do not enjoy temperatures much above 75F, 25C.


The best pets I ever had were roborovski hamsters. These come from Mongolia. They're a totally different breed to ordinary hamsters (2in/5cm fully grown, pingpong ball-sized when curled up). They are the smallest and fastest hammies in the world.


Unlike ordinary hamsters, which fight when kept together, robos are highly social. They sleep in a heap:


They do everything together. But they're easily startled, don't tame at all easily and don't like being handled. They ping off on the floor at the first opportunity, have taken me 2-4 days to recapture. Imagine a wild house mouse on speed and you're still not close! Aren't they cute ...

WISHING Y'ALL A CHARMING WEEKEND. IF IT CAN'T BE CHARMING, THEN MAY IT BE TOLERABLE.

Porkshire Sunday

I SAW an American Akita, really cute, who looks like he's got shades on, such is his face pattern. He walks down the road two streets away. The owner caught me staring. "But his tail isn't curly!" I remarked.

"Ooh aye!" she replied. I think she comes from Yorkshire.

Talking of Porkshire terrorizers ~ there's a Japanese girl on my street who walks one that looks just like Baby Itchy Roborovski when fur-bashed, soaking wet and compulsorily groomed by Bashful and Spherical. Very sweet.

And talking of Japanese, I'm doing really well with it. Studying every day. I know 200 kanji now and have a vocabulary of about 600 words. I'm aiming at 7000-word fluency within the next two years...

I'm still in a quandry about dogs. There's no room at my place for an Akita, much as I'd love one ~ and I really love them. (Who would ever guess~~!!?!) I found a mop terrier called Scruffy at a North London animal shelter, but I he is reserved and I think I would have to get a puppy anyhow, to train it to do tricks, including smuggling itself in a bag into supermarkets etc (and when my landlord comes round and I mysteriously have to leave every time). We're not really meant to keep pets, though I didn't sign anything. The guy downstairs has a staffordshire bull terrier, but he has access to the back garden... well I'm still working on it...

... and I have to go, I'm about to be timed out as per usual. Hope y'all are having a CHEERY WEEKEND!!

Back tomorrow...

Free Puppy Offer!

I GOT OFFERED A FREE PUPPYDOG YESTERDAY!!
I'm not sure the "act" has actually taken place yet, but when it does, the father will be a pitbull-mastiff cross and the mother a perky staffordshire bull terrier~...!!
I am saying nothing!!!!
The male dog I know well. He is enormous. When they got him, his owners thought he was a rottweiler. I thought "well I got their temperament all wrong" (quiet, standoffish, dignified) ~ this one is really cheery with most people and really aggressive with other male dogs. He barks loudly when tied up, has huge zest for life and never goes unnoticed wherever he is. He looks like a rottweiler on steroids or a rottweiler-brown bear cross ~ with his gigantic head...
... which of course belongs to a mastiff.
I was very flattered at the offer, but not to be nasty: Pitbulls, Mastiffs and Staffs are probably the three breeds I would LEAST likely go for. About HALF the dogs you walk past on the streets in some areas of London seem to be of these types. Their owners usually seem to want to look "hard" ~ and yet many times the dog is walking them. Which pretty much says everything.
In the library today I found a book called Your Akita. Now Akitas ARE the sort of big doggies I like because 1. they are beautiful with bushy fur and 2. I like their nature which is quiet and reserved ~ but not at all timid. They have the most magnificent bearing. But enough about doggies for one day I have to go as I'm about to be TERMINATED yet again..!
SOBER TODAY!! HAHA!! :-)

The Tale of Hachi

Chūgen Hachikō 忠犬ハチ公 means the faithful dog Hachi. Hachi means "eight" in Japanese.

This true story is famous in Japan. In the 1930s. Hachi, who later research showed to be one of only 30 pure-bred Akita dogs in Japan, was a puppydog in transit from the Northern Japanese farm where he was born to a new owner in the city. The crate in which he was travelling fell and sprang open at Tokyo station and the dog escaped and was found trotting the streets by a kindly professor from Tokyo University.

Unable to trace the dog's new owner, Ueno Hidesaburō 上野 英三郎, professor of Agricultural Studies at Tokyo University, took Hachi home and devotedly looked after him. Each morning the Professor would walk to the local station with Hachi in tow. There they said goodbye and Hachi trotted back home to re-appear each evening at Shibuya Station in time for the Professor's train.

One day Professor Ueno was stricken with a heart attack while at work and died. Hachi was rehomed but continually escaped, trotting back to the Professor's old home. This went on for months until the dog realized that Professor Ueno didn't live there any more.

From then on Hachi showed up at Shibuya Station 渋谷駅, the third-busiest railway station in Tokyo, every evening on time for his master's train. He became a fixture at the station, ever watching and waiting in hope of his master's return.

Regular commuters grew to recognize the dog, and kept him well-fed with tasty treats as he continued his vigil.

The Faithful Furry continued to show up every evening on time and to wait patiently for the late Professor. This went on for NINE YEARS.

During his lifetime Hachi became a cause célèbre and a national symbol of faithfulness and hope. When he died his body was stuffed and put in the National Science Museum in Tokyo, where he remains on display to this day.

Hachi's story was filmed in Japanese in 1987 as Hachikō Monogatari ハチ公物語. In 2009 a Hollywood version was released starring Richard Gere as a caucasian Professor Ueno.

This screen is a montage of clips from the Japanese original, set to music and telling the complete story in three-&-a-half minutes.




You can watch the complete 1987 film Hachiko Monogatari on my Animals Crackers pets blog by clicking here.

Photos 1: the actual Hachi; 2 bronze statue outside Shibuya station; 3 Hachi's stuffed body at the National Science Museum of Japan, Tokyo.

In Memory of Hachi
Tribute montage. I think those doggieharnesses that fit on their back like a bumblebee wings holder are really cute:
BTW doesn't the cover image look just like a little shiba-inu. Shiba-inu, BTW, means "brushwood doggie"...

Dogs

WHAT was all this crap I banged in yesterday about "doggie fun"... what was I on? Nothing? What was wrong with me. Everything, probably. Well I'm not deleting it even though it was stupid.

I don't know whether I wanna get a dog or not. I do. But I don't as well.

I suppose I wanna learn how to take care of myself first (wah-waaah!!)

I am scared of getting hammies as the gap under my door is so huge they could easily just ping under it and be out in the hallway in 2 seconds flat. Then the people downstairs would jump out of their skin the minute they saw a round roborovski furball scurrying across their carpets in the dead of night.

When Itchy escaped, on the frequent occasions that she did, she usually laid low for at least 48 hours ~ in that time I did not see or hear hide nor hair of her, so as far as I knew she could be dead or out on the street or anywhere. Then, when it was really quiet I would suddenly see this tiny tubby cartoon mouse like thing that looked more like Tweety-pie scuttling across the floor. Any movement from me and she was GONE.

We had wild mice in the house at the same time in one address, and I can vouch that a domesticated escaped roborovski is considerably FASTER than a wild housemouse. The swines!

Anyway when it comes to dogs, these are the types I like.

1. Really fuzzy furry ones, like Spanish water dogs:



2. Old English sheepdogs:



3. Fuzzy terriers. But these aren't a breed, so you cannot reliably seek out and find one, not without endless poring over pictures of internet puppies, wondering what they might grow up into:



4. Wire fox terriers. It's the fluff-round-the-nose thing...



Japanese dogs. There are six original dog breeds from Japan. Their genetics have been traced back as far as 3000BC. All of these breeds have the same wolf-like appearance and distinctive curly tail. The two most popular in the West are the tiny Shiba inu 柴犬 (inu just means doggie).





And the Akita inu I keep going on about.
The appeal of these is that if I'm going to have a dog I want one that's cute and tough in equal measure. This is important today as the parks are full of yobbos with Staffordshire bull terriers (yesterday's fashion) and Rottweilers (today's fashion).
I would go for a female dog anyway. Hopefully then the snarlers in the park would treat her like a lady instead of savaging her. Also if I can find another Akita at the right time of year... free puppies, wahey!!

Note the similarity of features with the shiba, but huge disparity in size:





These are Shikoku dogs:



A Kai inu:

I want one!

A chinchillafurred akita-inu 秋田犬 like the nuzzlybozed wisefaced kindly brindly one who silently came to me and said doggie hello on Monday morning. On thinking about it, I realized they are my ideal type of dog with 1: incredibly beautiful fur and 2: nice looks and 3: unlike most pretty dogs these are renowned as guard dogs and protectors. You need protection these days in a horrible place like London.



I'd especially like one with ultrafluffy fur like this one:



Awww:
O you are joking, I looked it up and this one's from North London and going FREE...



Now I've got to go before I pine to death!!