Better today

I FEEL FAR BETTER THAN I DID YESTERDAY. That is because I am on my own, not in McDonalds surrounded by people with attitude problems, not riding a bus, not crushed in by people people people. People do my head in.

Michael Jackson is playing on my TV. His collected videos was the only thing I could stomach music wise and play round and round (as I do) with DVDs. There's a lot of other music I like but hardly any of it has videos because it's either bleepy and abstract or obscure or Sinead O'Connor (who is so much more than Nothing Compares 2U, she's an Irish baladeer).

I was thinking about Michael Jackson and how someone who knows me well once compared him to me [in personality]. Really, I am flattered. Somebody took Michael Jackson's world and smashed it and crushed him and all he could turn to was drugs, which he was probably involved in since burning his hair in that Pepsi accident in the early 80s.

No Michael Jackson music today. What I picked comes more under "obscure" but it did chart and does have a video:~

CAPTAIN SENSIBLE (lead singer of the Damned (hi Melody Lee)): GLAD IT'S ALL OVER
I always thought this song was about nuclear war. Blue moon happened after the Krakatoa eruption and could well happen after neuclear war. Too many little particles in the atmosphere:




Tsar Bomb: largest nuclear device ever exploded ~ 50-57 megatonnes
57,000,000 megatons = 1000 tons of dynatmite for every man, woman and child in the UK.
this one's 250 times bigger than the bombs that will soon drop on US!



SCREAM
stop pressuring me, like this one

Wading through honey

I WOULD HAVE SAID I CRASHED because since about 3pm I've felt increasingly lousy and it hasn't been fun.

I went into HMV, but nothing inspired me. Eventually I got Michael Jackson but 2 of the 3 discs play in black and white. If they're BOTH like that I assume they've botched an entire batch. So little point changing them. But I will. Nothing is wrong with my DVD machine. Everything else plays properly.

I got a Chinese takeaway but it's gross and I'm leaving it. I'm so greedy I will prbably want it later but it's grotesque. Undercooked onions. Yeurkh. I'm giving up on Chinese food.

Instead of buying heroin, which I only wanted to make me feel OK, I got 7 valium blues. I now have 4 left. I reckon i got ripped off because usually I can feel 1x10mg. Today i can barely feeel anything. I only took them to take something. I had 4 drinks but still feel no better. They're the new mandy cherry 4.7% vol cyder. Valium isn't an antidepressant it quells anxiety and I got HAD-tested years ago when I was far more prone to anxiety than today and came out "high depression; low anxiety". Anyway anxiety is the living pits. Far worse than anything i get. If psychiatry judged experiences on how bad they felt rather than how much of a mess they leave you, a panic attack would be judged more serious than any schizophrenia.

So that's me. All the films seemed to be about madness or they were TV shows at £40 a season and nothing at all grabs me. Michael Jackson was only for background music you can glance at. Also I wanted the full films of Thriller, Bad and Ghosts.

I could still get to an NA meeting tonight but frankly haven't the energy to walk to the bus. Plus you have to sit in a room full of junkies being contemplative, which I'm not. And I don't think about my former drug of choice ALL DAY the way I'm apparently meant to. And the well meaning but ridiculous advice I get to go rehab: you wanna see me go totally batshit crazy? Put me on a 10-day methadone taper. That will set me off like nothing else. So no, no NA today. Plus I'm fed up of hinting at my situation and getting a load of total barking-up--the-wrong tree platitudes. Most of them seem to believe I'm still using. Well they can get fucked. I don't need that. I need it less than ever today.

Janet Jackson Live In Manila

 

Uy magco-concert daw si ate Janet Jackson sa Feb. 4 doon sa PICC. Sana mag-guest din si Idol Manny.  No, hindi po kasama si Tracy Morgan aka Brian Fellow na nagpapagaling sa kanyang katatapos lang na kidney transplant. Good luck Tracy & Janet!

Breaking News - Pekeng Michael Jackson?

Peke! Yan ang sabida ng Jackson family including Katherine, La Toya, Prince and Paris.   Ni-record daw yan ni Michael at Mang Palito noong 2007.  Pero s'yempre pa orig daw yan sabida naman ng $ony at ni Bubbles. Kaya kayo ang humatol bayan!  Listen and judge for yourself. 
Update:  Biglang nawala sa SoundCloud ang Breaking News ni MJ daw. Oh well, It was good while it lasted. Heto ang You Tube, watch it bago mawala.

 

    BREAKING NEWS

    Everybody wanting a piece of Michael Jackson.
    Reporters stalking the moves of Michael Jackson.
    Just when you thought he was done,
    he comes to give it again.”

    no matter what, you just wanna read it again
    no matter what, you just wanna feel it again

    now is that strange that i fall in love
    who is the boogie man you thinkin’ of
    all went crazy coz im just in love
    this is breaking news X2

    everybody watching the news of michael jackson
    They want to see that I fall,
    cause I’m Michael Jackson

    You write the words to destroy
    like it’s a weapon

    you turn your back on the love and you think you can get it again

    no matter what, you just wanna read it again
    no matter what, you just wanna feel it again

    now is that strange that i fall in love
    who is the boogie man you thinkin’ of
    all went crazy coz im just in love
    this is breaking news X2

    now is that strange that i fall inlove
    who is the boogie man you thinkin’ of
    all went crazy coz im just in love
    this is breaking news X2

    all the news today they say CRAZY time
    who is stranger today we want this day baby

    now is that strange that i fall in love
    who is the boogie man you thinkin’ of
    all went crazy coz im just in love
    this is breaking news X2

    now is that strange that i fall in love
    who is the boogie man you thinkin’ of
    all went crazy coz im just in love
    this is breaking news X2

    YOU’RE BREAKING NEWS

Michael Jackson: dead genius

HE WAS SO TALENTED. Not just as a dancer, but as vocalist: his voice was amazing. If you compare some of the few recordings where he sings genuinely sweetly with his normal style, you hear how ANGRY he was... At what? Who knows.
One talent we don't ordinarily associate with Michael Jackson was his ability to act in a totally naturalistic manner.
Yes, perhaps he was playing versions of himself, but haven't legions of Hollywood actors, who neither dance nor sing, made long careers doing the same ..?
Apparently in his 20s, when he was still goodlooking, Michael wanted to make a career in the movies but was put off by his music management, who perhaps thought they would lose their cut to film agents.

Here's a complete Michael Jackson actor's filmography

1979: The Wiz 136 mins. All-black remake of The Wizard of Oz costarring Diana Ross. Michael plays the Scarecrow, but most of the time you can barely see him under a half-tonne of ridiculous makeup...
1983: Thriller 14 mins.
1986: Captain Eo ~ 17 mins. Originally shot in 3D and shown in Disney's theme parks in California, Florida, France and Japan to packed houses. It's now available online (you can watch it here). But don't expect much. The script is seriously dire.
1987: Bad. Scorsese-directed. Like Thriller the video falls into two parts. For the first 8 mins he plays a late-teenage student from a rundown neighbourhood in New York being taunted by Wesley Snipes about his "posh" school and for not being "bad" enough. Second part is an extended performance of the song, with acapella ending...
1988: Moonwalker 89 mins. Opens with "isn't Michael amazing!" retrospective, then Michael has to rescue three children from the evil Mr Big (who threatens to inject one with heroin ~ ironic, considering how MJ died). Includes songs Badder (parody of Bad), Speed Demon, Leave Me Alone, Smooth Criminal, Come Together. Was cinema-released in UK and Europe. Straight to video in USA.
1996/7: Ghosts 40 mins. Considering his squeaky-clean image MJ had a weird obsession with all things creepy. MJ plays a "weirdo" living alone in a creepy mansion and the town Major, who wants rid of him. He performs 3 songs: 2 Bad, Ghosts and Is It Scary
... and that's it. Such a shame he didn't do more...

Here's BAD. The part you haven't seen is probably part one. Now tell me Michael Jackson can't act!


FULL 16-MINUTE VERSION OF THE VIDEO
Directed by Martin Scorsese:

Part 1
Here's an 8-minute self-contained short film. No music (that's in part 2). Michael playing schoolkid named Darrel...



Part 2



Link: Michael Jackson List of Unreleased Material (fascinating...)

Michael Jackson: Captain Eo/ etc

CAPTAIN EO ~ this is the 15 minute film Michael Jackson got paid $15 million to make in 1984. And it ran and ran at Disneyland's 3D "theaters" for 20 years...





This is interesting:



Michael Jackson Molly Meldron interview. This is something Michael Jackson did around 1988 to boost flagging ticket sales in Australia...



I don't see what this is part 2 of... even MORE clips of Michael jogging around in military-type jackets..? This is the type of hyperbole used to advertise Michael Jackson's shows in the 1980s and 1990s... and it's so EXCITING!!!