The Goblin is back!

THAT NAUGHTY GOBLIN has bitten my computer cable. So I've no power.

Actually no accident happened. The cable just wore itself out. Rather prematurely, in my opinion, but I know old age was the problem, as just before it went completely, you had to twiddle it so it was in one precise position to make power come through ~ like a mobile phone charger on its last legs...

So I'm waiting on a new goblin cure...

... meanwhile I've decided to pen a kiddybook. And I'm hacking through something in German by someone called H G Adler.

Must dash, as I'm on a public computer and I shall be terminated!

The Stew Catastrophe!

LAST WEEK I made a wonderful stew with lamb and noodles {not noodles ~ DUMPLINGS; Knödel!} (I translated this post from German) and delicious spices. The ingredients were: 1kg (2.2lbs) neck of lamb; 2 large red onions; half a bulb (about 5 cloves) fresh garlic; a double handful mushrooms; a double handful okra/gumbo/ladies' fingers; 2 huge carrots; one tin black beans; one can chopped tomatoes.

The herbs and spices were:
Half teespoon ginger
Half teespoon garam masala
Half teespoon each: Tescos Value, Chinese and Jamaican (Mr Brown's) currypowder
2 tablespoons Lea & Perrins Worcester Sauce
About a third of a teaspoon Chinese five spice seasoning
About three teaspoons "chicken seasoning" (salt, 30% paprika, celery... etc)
Home-dried mint leaves
Mixed herbs
Half teaspoon Colmans English Mustard

I cooked it slowly for at least three hours, after which time the lamb was so tender it was literally falling off the bone. It did taste slightly burnt, which I blamed on the new pan...

The next day I reheated it to add my dumplings. Catastrophe! It came back all burnt! Like a liquid barbecue. Ugh. I could only eat the meat (I quite like incinerated meat). But carbonized vegetables are not to my taste.

It wasn't like everything went black or anything like that. Just this horrible burnt flavour pervaded everything. Not nice. And such a shame as otherwise the spicing, the dumplings... everything was perfect.

Where did I go wrong? Was my new pan too thin? Did I reheat too rapidly?

Or did a goblin sneak into my kitchen when I was too busy losing my old broadband down the loo and mess everything up..??!?


PS- You don't think excessive stirring (well, only once every 20 mins - is that excessive??)... you don't think that might have messed it up, do you...??

Goblin cure on way!

THE CURE FOR MY BROADBAND GOBLIN-ATTACK should be with me by the end of the week. That is, a new SIM to put in the mobile broadband dongle I was using before.
Then I should be able to stay in touch PROPERLY, as I was doing before this fiasco...
That naughty net-goblin lies vanquished and dead!

THE GOBLIN IS DEAD!
LONG LIVE THE GOBLIN!!

If we could talk to the animals...

... they might say something like this!

TALKING DOGS, CATS AND HAMSTER

...

BIRD TELLS CATS "YOU DON'T NEED TO CHASE US ANY MORE!"



NO BIG NEWS to report. Still working on me story. I've only done 3300 words, but I'm hoping no major goblins are in the text.

No broadband at home has helped me out in a big way. It's made me realize I've been wasting an opportunity to improve myself. To write great literature and change my life. I'm like the man who owns a Lambourghini and only uses it to drive to the corner shop for milk, sugar and a packet of fags!

Must dash ~ "darn" internet caff about to terminate me, as per usual!

Goblins in the broadband

AKH! THAT GOBLIN that has been chasing the hamster so vigorously has got in me broadband and is not letting me go online.

I'm still alive though.

Will post something more interesting tomorrow. Woulnd't dare here, the system's so slow...

WISHING A TELLYTUBBY WEEKEND TO ONE AND ALL..!

Hamster Cleaner Horror!

Akh! The German Kobold-Goblin is hunting me again!


I was so stressed, I did a wee on the carpet!


Mummy cleaned up the rug...


Akh! I'm sure I can hear a bloody hissing goblin!


Can't see any goblins... Just a vacuum cleaner thing ...


Akh! No wonder! It's a Goblin Steam Cleaner!!


I don't trust any type of goblin ...


I'm going to bed!

Oh no! The Goblin's coming!

"Ach! That naughty goblin is on my tail..."


"He's gonna bite me on the bum!"


I was trying to say in German that my late cat Coco ...


... looked "like a furry black imp" ...


Or a sprite or a pixie ....


But the standard German "Kobold" means a goblin ...


Or even a hobgoblin!


And these are after the poor wild hammy!
"Ach! He's coming! And he sounds like a hobgoblin too!"


"I've gotta ping back to my burrow before he bites my bum!"


"At least he can't follow me down here, the swine!"

§ § §


MUSICAL INTERLUDE: PIXIE LOTT ~ MAMA DO



She ought to change her name: GOBLIN LOTT!