2010 Erap Pa Rin - the worst disaster movie of all time.
Huge Food Shopping Expedition
I JUST BOUGHT A WEEK's dindins from my favourite shop, Iceland ~ where you can get all the components of a roastbeef dinner frozen ready to slam in the oven and take out ready with crispy battered diddly potatoes, gravy and all the trimmings, including cauliflower-and-broccoli cheese and Yorshire puddings within 40 minutes. Wonderful!
Provided you're no better than an average cook, the Iceland stuff actually comes out better than most people's from-scratch. It's the standard you'd expect from a pub lunch ~ right down to the thin-sliced roast beef that no-one ever serves at home (how'd you cut it that thin?)
Don't worry y'all I'm not back on the crack. I did have the urge to score more "just a £10 'rock'" this morning... but the memory of my head being full of so much noise put me off sufficiently... And crack is highly habituational, 
like druggie chocolate and I was glad to be rid of it (apart from just three occasions this year). It took nearly two years from properly trying to actually give it up, so I'm not undoing that in a hurry... Anyway I was so exhausted I didn't really get up till past midday. I do like the person I was with yesterday (he has a good heart). He can be "slightly" stressful, that's all... (ahem!)
And apart from that all is fine and I've an Italian stonebaked garlick chicken pizza ready to be slammed in the oven ~ yumm yummmmeeee!
Illustrated: Kerry "cokenose" Katona (former "face" of Iceland stores ~ sacked for being filmed snorting a line in her own bathroom); cheesy potato slices (I got these for the first time today ~ haven't tried 'em yet ~ these are what I consider trimmings to my RBD); 
cauliflower cheese ~ I go for the cauliflower and broccoli variety but couldn't find a pic of the pack; they do lovely chocolate caramel slices like this "2 slices extra free" at £1 a pack; cauliflower-broccoli cheese as it's meant to look (ie when I haven't burnt it!); and last but not least the whole shebang put together; prefilled black pepper grater ~ used to be £5 in Sainsbury's! I got mine for £1 from Iceland...
Cocaine Interlude
THE PHONE RANG yesterday afternoon. "Do you wanna hit?"
I have never literally said no to that so I said yes.
Then they explained what was entailed and it involved driving round in a car with a Scottish guy I know who I have to keep saying WHAT??!? to every second sentence because he sounds like he's speaking Dutch (Dutch and Scots do sound quite similar). Anyway I had to listen to hours of paranoia. This person is always in trouble with at least two other people who have wronged him quite viciously. Never is he at fault for basically having zero character judgement. I tried to tell him: I don't have these problems with my neighbours because I only ever say hello to them. The problems I have had were all pushed by them making judgement on me. I never wanted anything to do with any of them. But too late for that. And then he wants crack. And I told him coke is rubbish now. Apparently there is such massive demand in Britain the average cocaine powder is a mere 15% purity (against 40 or more for heroin (supposedly )). And it's just a waste of time. I'd been thinking of crack more and more recently and feeling sick at the thought of it and telling myself I didn't want to do it ever again. So I thought "one last shout". The two £20s weren't even rocks they were like damp Lux soap flakes. I learnt long ago the difference between good and bad crack before the high hits you ~ the good stuff melts under a flame and is a white smoke or vapour before you know it. This went on and on and on smoking and was like inhaling burning polystyrene with a goodly hint of car exhaust. Then you feel sick and your head spins and you're "high". Lovely. To pay for this I had to put up with more than three hours of his multiple troubles. Then the first person rang me wanting a cut ~ which I'd banged on and on about he had better give them something because I'm not getting blamed. And he didn't want to do it. So I made him ring and say no. And then he finally vanished in the rainy night and I just felt ill by this time. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
* I looked up the supposed purity of heroin and crack in the UK; I have, after all, been taking the rubbish... In 2007 when heroin was much the same the "mean retail purity" in the UK was supposedly 49.8%; crack, which I still used then was 52.3%, probably higher than today, I'm sure...
This means the British street heroin has one of the highest purities in the western world ~ which surprised me ~ against e.g. 36.1% in New York City...
MADONNA YOU'LL SEE
She didn't sound too sure of herself singing in Spanish; this is how it's meant to sound ~ which I think sounds quite good.
Higantes Noon at Ngayon
Postcard po yan ng Higantes Fiesta na nabili ko sa National Book Store. Kuha noong naka saya pa ang mga kababaihan. Sa ibaba naman ang bidyo na kuha nina Eulogio Johnbek Tiamson Jr. at Ethelyn Tiamson sa katatapos na Higantes Festival noong Nobyembre 22, 2009 sa Angono, Rizal. Sa kasamaang palad ay hindi pinayagang sumali ang duwende ng Malakanyang.
Higantes Festival from El Nuno on Vimeo.
A Perfect Day...
This BBC short, played between programmes was never intended to be a commercial pop video, but was released (so they say) purely to answer public demand...
MADONNA ~ VERAS
Spanish version of You'll See, which is a really good tune with a really good vocal:
The English lyrics sum up my attitude to relationships:
You think that I can't live without your love ~
You'll see
You think I can't go on another day
You think I am nothing
Without you by my side...
You'll see ~ somehow, someday...
TRAINSPOTTING
I haven't the patience to read a book in Scottish and the film annoys me because it doesn't tell the "truth" about heroin... it leaves so much out!
OVERDOSE
I had a heroin death-wish for such a long time. Eventually I had to confront the reality that I HAVE to live. Don't even know why most of the time. Just have to ....
MADONNA ~ VERAS
Spanish version of You'll See, which is a really good tune with a really good vocal:
The English lyrics sum up my attitude to relationships:
You think that I can't live without your love ~
You'll see
You think I can't go on another day
You think I am nothing
Without you by my side...
You'll see ~ somehow, someday...
TRAINSPOTTING
I haven't the patience to read a book in Scottish and the film annoys me because it doesn't tell the "truth" about heroin... it leaves so much out!
OVERDOSE
I had a heroin death-wish for such a long time. Eventually I had to confront the reality that I HAVE to live. Don't even know why most of the time. Just have to ....
Wallabies
FURRY FRIDAY ~ (on Saturday!~ as per usual...)
THE WALLABY is like a mini kangaroo...
There are 30 species of wallaby. This one's a swamp wallaby wallabia bicolor from Queensland:
They are native to Australia, though colonies have been introduced to New Zealand and parts of the United Kingdom(!) including the Isle of Man.... There have been wild, or "ferral" wallabies on the Hawaiian island of Oahu since they escaped from a zoo nearly 100 years ago....
You can even get albino wallabies, like this pair, who look a little strange. Surely they need sunscreen on those pink ears...?!?
Pose nicely for the camera now..!
Young wallabies are called joeys...
This skinny little doot reminds me of a bat!
Hope y'all are having/had/will have a cheery weekend!!
THE WALLABY is like a mini kangaroo...
There are 30 species of wallaby. This one's a swamp wallaby wallabia bicolor from Queensland:
They are native to Australia, though colonies have been introduced to New Zealand and parts of the United Kingdom(!) including the Isle of Man.... There have been wild, or "ferral" wallabies on the Hawaiian island of Oahu since they escaped from a zoo nearly 100 years ago....
You can even get albino wallabies, like this pair, who look a little strange. Surely they need sunscreen on those pink ears...?!?
Pose nicely for the camera now..!
Young wallabies are called joeys...
This skinny little doot reminds me of a bat!
Hope y'all are having/had/will have a cheery weekend!!
Holiday season's hottest toy - The Zhu Zhu Pets!
Yes boys and girls. Sina Mr. Chunk, Mr. Pipsqueak, Mr.Squiggles and Mr. Numnums ang hottest toys this year if you can find it. Sila ang Zhu Zhu pets Hamster! Kung noong araw nagsasabunutan at nagsusutukan ang mga kana para bumili ng Furby, Cabbage Patch and Tickle Me Elmo, eh Zhu Zhu naman ang uzu ngayon! Me shortage dahil pinakyaw daw ni Richard Gere ang lahat ng shipments. Humm...saan kaya niya ipapasak ito this time. Where will your Zhu Zhu zhu-oom today?
Breakthrough
WELL I FINISHED my endlessly reupdated chapter one. Which still probably has rough bits, but it needs looking at by fresh eyes. Emailed it to someone I trust who is NOT an addict. No point just giving it to fellow addicts to read they'll probably think it's wonderful just because at last they're reading about fictional characters who live just like them. My book is written for someone stuck on a remote farm in New Zealand and someone riding the commuter train into Manhattan. I.e. normal people who are not addicts and not English. If my points come across to people like these, I've done my job.I had a very good counselling session. I showed the counsellor the "MS" to my book, as we like to say in the trade ~~!(***if only!***)!! ~ yes and the manuscript is just as well punctuated as that.(!) My counsellor said I was a very powerful person. And spiritual. I said how do you know that and she said she can just tell ... And apart from that I don't know what to say.
Now it's back to that book and chapter two. This is where the rewriting starts in earnest as the old chapter two is just bluster and guff about my characters' past. No dialogue. No "scene" as such. It has to be totally redone. OK I'm outta here. Have a pleasant weekend, y'all!
PS do you like the picture: a blast-from-the-past Amstrad PCW wordie!
THE STRANGLERS ~ GOLDEN BROWN
Classic song about... guess what?
The best family Thanksgiving tradition is...
the Thanksgiving nap. Opo mga BFF pagtapos ng big thanksgiving dinner eh beauty sleep muna ang pinoy humor sa pansitan este couch pala. See ya'll tomorrow.
Jittery
I DON'T KNOW what to say today. I feel tired and shaky and weird. Last night I had endless sinister nightmares. All about getting wrapped up in the consequences of someone else's misdeeds (nothing to do with my drugs ~ I don't often dream about drugs) ~ and all night I was running from false accusations. As per usual.I don't really think I've got the DTs; I just don't feel very well. I noticed the chemist looking funny at me as she handed over the methadone today. Then I thought: Oh no. It shows. Usually I could be feeling so bad I'm dripping green slime and nobody notices. But odd and weird with no possible diagnosis and the world has to notice. How typical.
I'm hacking at my chapter one on a computer so I apologize to everyone for never being in touch. As soon as my mind turns to the subject I'm being timed out yet again ~ story of my life.
Anyway gotta run. Else I'll get timed out yet again!!
A Random Day
I COULDN'T SLEEP last night. So I randomly trawled my shelves and picked up a Marian Keyes novel ~ which is non-romance chicklit and I found it on the street by the way ~ a story about a literary agent and two novelists. Reading about book publishing wound me up so I was even less amenable to sleep.But I did learn something about literary agents that should have twigged before. Basically they are essential in today's "market" ~ publishers don't even look at work by unknowns. That's the agents' job. Anyway I learned that fledglings at the agency don't even get a cut of the deals they negotiate ~ which seems most unfair. Only partners do. One of the agents who showed an interest last time was a director at his company. So I know who to approach first next time, don't I?
I also sat up drawing plans for my own book. I need to know where the story's going before I retell it. Telling the story I love ~ not knowing what to tell is torment. Hence this planning in advance.
Once I did get to sleep I couldn't wake up. I spent nearly the whole day sleeping. And now I feel like a dinosaur. And I'm depressed (for no apparent reason).
I have told myself that once my plans take off I'll have far less to be depressed about ~ which seems logical. I just hope it comes true.
On that note I must fly. I never seem to get two minutes on a computer before it's logging me off for lack of time... so I'll see yas tomorrow xx
PS A gust of wind last night hit me so strong I nearly got hurled backwards onto someone's roof!
PPS I saw a picture of Gwendolina in the paper today! She looks just like a bear named Finn who got shot for attacking a mentally ill man who climbed into its zoo enclosure... The horrible pictures are here ... Actually that brown bear oop top looks like Gwendolina too...
'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and although I don't have many traditions, one I've started with the boys is to read this book, 'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving. I originally acquired the book many years ago at a children's book fair where the author was signing copies. It is a very clever little book written to the same rhythm of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. T1he illustrations are equally as clever and include spoofs on a few famous paintings including American Gothic and Van Gough's Starry Night. Anyway, I just thought I'd share a little sample here:
The book begins with a class field trip to a Turkey Farm where the kids meet Farmer MacNugget and his slew of feathered friends:
The children then devise a plan to rescue the turkeys from their horrible fate by sneaking them home on the bus:
The book concludes with each family enjoying Thanksgiving with a turkey as a guest at the table (instead of as the meal on the table):
Anyway, my description doesn't do the book justice. It is a really cute book that you should check out when you get the chance. Also, I should note that while the book advocates having a vegetarian Thanksgiving, I will definitely be eating turkey tomorrow, and lots of it.
Happy Thanksgiving!
The book begins with a class field trip to a Turkey Farm where the kids meet Farmer MacNugget and his slew of feathered friends:
The children fall in love with the turkeys and are somewhat mortified when they find out the turkeys are to be butchered for Thanksgiving the following day:
The children then devise a plan to rescue the turkeys from their horrible fate by sneaking them home on the bus:
The book concludes with each family enjoying Thanksgiving with a turkey as a guest at the table (instead of as the meal on the table):
Anyway, my description doesn't do the book justice. It is a really cute book that you should check out when you get the chance. Also, I should note that while the book advocates having a vegetarian Thanksgiving, I will definitely be eating turkey tomorrow, and lots of it.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Pinoy 3d Photo: Parada sa Luneta
Rizal Day parade in Luneta 1905. Stereoview photo published in 1907 by the H.C. White 3-D Company in Vermont, USA.
Ding Dong Not Merrily On Low
I KEEP THINKING of Andra, the lady who died and what a waste and how sad and poor cow. I feel guilty now. I feel shamed. I feel that my first reaction was callous. This is the thing. About FEELING. She and I both lived in the land of the unfeeling. So when something happens to any of us, it's hard to know what to feel. I feel sorry now.
NA say addicts are divided into thirds: one third do get clean; a third are killed by the drugs and the last third carry on using till they die. Even when the drugs aren't directly responsible they hardly extend life, do they ..?I felt that I wanted to give a proper memorial and tribute to all those who died ~ the names, faces and lives behind the statistics and I suppose that's part of the reasoning behind my book. I chose to write fiction because paradoxically it's a better medium for telling truth than a living memoir can ever be. To write about real people in such detail would be a gross invasion of privacy. Hence the need for fiction.
I can't think of many good books about addiction, Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting is in Scottish but it made a good film. Kate Holden's memoir In My Skin is as much about her career as a prostitute as about drugs but it is a well-written account of the confines of addiction. But neither of these delve far into the nittygritty of life and death. And I think someone should. Hence my book.
I took Sharon Osbourne's autobiography Extreme off the library shelf and found I couldn't stop reading. I don't know about elsewhere but the publishers in Britain are going crazy for celebrity memoirs ~ even when some of the "stars" in question are barely past their mid-20s, and what have they done? Love her or loathe her Sharon Osbourne has lived a fascinating life. She's been a rock manager and promoter. If it wasn't for her, Ozzy would probably be penniless. Reading her story, I realized I had more in common with her husband than I'd cared to admit previously and that the drugs I'd been taking have dulled me and disabled me and I don't need them anymore.
For the first time ever I thought to myself, "I don't need heroin," and felt a surge of excitement. That's a feeling I want to grab hold of ~ to feel good about not taking the drug.
I've already turned tables on just about every other substance. Not only do I not want them, but I'm glad they're out of my life.When I can finally do that with heroin I'll know I've got some way towards getting this problem licked.
Wahay!!!
Happy Pabo Day!
Nagsimula na po ang biggest holiday exodus ng mga kano pauwi sa kanikanilang barangay para sa darating na Thanksgiving Day. 4.6 million ang lilipad while 30 milliones naman ang maglo-long drive para sa reunion ng kanilang dysfunctional family. Yan pong nasa itaas ang past thanksgiving handa ni Bertha. Since na layoff po cya eh spam single sandwich na lang daw po ngayon. Sa bagay wala sa roast turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie at eggnog yan, diba Nognog? Nasa spirit po yan at pasasalamat sa mga blessing na natangap natin ngayon taon. Kaya from the bottom of my kwek-kwek eh HAPPY PINOY TY DAY sa inyung lahat! Taos pusong pakikiramay naman sa mga pabo.
Ding Dong Dead!
LET THE NEWS BE WIDELY SPREAD...MY ACQUAINTANCE and Valium Marilyn's friend the "Greek Crackhead ..." is dead!
She was never really my friend and we never got on. So I'm not going to start pretending to adore her now. I hate that sort of hypocrisy. I feel sorry for her boyfriend though. He is said to be utterly distraught.
Medically this is a familiar story: middle aged person ~ cocaine user (snorted/injected/smoked ~ it doesn't matter) ~ has sudden heart attack and dies. Apparently in America one heart attack patient in two tests cocaine positive... So none of this is any surprise.
But still... Rest in Peace Andra xx
~ Safe at last
Here's two crack links of the day:1: A familiar situation: vulnerable people are targeted, dealers move in, their home is turned into a crackhouse. They lose their home ...
2. The drug services seem obsessed with the idea that crack use can spread the hepatitis C virus. I'm not so convinced. This whole thing comes about from self-confessed crack smokers, who claim never to have injected anything, and yet still test positive to the blood-borne hep C virus. Would you take a crackhead's word for anything? They say things like "the hot pipe can burn your lips"... yet most pipes are built in such a way they do not GET hot at the mouth end... Grrrr! o I dunno.
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