I SHAT, SHOWERED AND SHAVED THIS MORNING. I look a hundred times better clean-shaven than my ordinary homeless look. I'm one of those folks who scrub up really well. Formal clothes really suit me. See I should have been born a 1920s aristocrat. I've got that "don't care" attitude down to pat already. When something goes utterly tits up distraught I call it a "mild inconvenience". I ought to be living in Brideshead Revisited. Unfortunately I don't.
And I know I shouldn't be negative, but I don't really feel any better for having cleaned myself up. (Should I?) I need to get some of that fake perfume from the pound shop. Their best one was called something like Code Green. It was pretty pukka. Unfortunately those cheap scents omit a crucial ingredient (I've no idea what it's called) but this missing ingredient makes the aroma wear off about ten times faster than proper perfume does.
When it comes to proper designer scent my favourites are Opium pour homme. Our local Boots pharmacy used to have this on tester. I showered in it free every day. Mother Hubbs used to say I smelled "like a French tart's boudoir". But it's better than reeking of BO. Opium Homme is the only male fragrance available in eau de parfum, that is ultra-strong formulation. I loved this stuff. And no it wasn't JUST the "druggie" name that appealed. (Incidentally Opium smells nothing at all like actual opium, which is highly acrid.
The other drug-oriented fragrance I like is Dior Higher. I love incense-flavoured perfume and Higher smells just like joss-sticks.
My favourite perfume of all time is Antaeus by Chanel. Several people have described this as "edible". It's absolutely sublime and like most of the best men's fragrance there's no female version.Another one I like is Givenchy π Pi (the gold version; the blue one has a missing ingredient, it's just not as good) once the horrible aniseed top note wears off this stuff is really really nice.
If you're into something mellower the best stuff's made by Davidoff. Cool Water is like a vastly superior version of Joop.If you're wondering how an inactive junkie like me knows all this stuff, it's because I did used to work and when I worked I wore proper perfume (as I call it, if you've masculinity "issues" or a tiny wonga you might want to call it aftershave). The designer stuff really is far better than cheapo alternatives.
My top tip for men's fragrance is NEVER EVER BUY AFTERSHAVE. Aftershave means marginally cheaper and VERY much weaker. It's a ripoff. It has nothing to do with shaving (you don't splash aftershave on your face unless you're a masochist). The best place for perfume is the neck. Or just spray it all over. Gift packs are good with the shower gel, soaps and lotions. If you shop about you can get these for the same price as the perfume alone.The music of my youth is now labelled "old skool"... how ancient does that make me feel! Here's three classics:~
WE ARE IE
CLOSE YOUR EYES (FORGET YOUR NAME, FORGET THE WORLD, FORGET THE PEOPLE)
DEAD DRED (WHAT'S THE TIME DRED)
