Showing posts with label new year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new year. Show all posts

Just...

Are you a slow starter when it comes to the new year? I am very much one and it might be because I tend to mentally whine down at the end of the year and starting over again in the new year is sluggishly unwanted. Its also time for some hopes for the new beginning but  I dont make resolutions as they just don't work for me so I just live each day for itself and leave my hopes with Allah. 



Ben10 (my eldest nephew) started grade 1 today and yesterday in conversation with him, I said, "my baby, you going to look all smart in uniform, hey?", to which he replied, "I going to send you a picture but you going to get soo fwighten" *chuckles* Indeed I will because I cannot believe my baby boy who some years ago was prematurely born and soooo little, is now a big boy with great aspirations of becoming a science professor, inshallah! 







BluePearl (c) - Khalifa Stadium, Doha, Qatar
Dear Mama celebrated her birthday over the weekend - I love my moms birthday because I get to tell her something special about her and ofcourse extend my eternal gratitude for giving birth to me. Same weekend, saw the kick off to the Asian football cup here in Doha - the kick off show hosted at the Khalifa Stadium was just amazing.  Qatar's famous fireworks displayed filled the evening skies with glamour and gitz.






Thats all from me for now...hugs and love

Mariana-Deep

THAT'S HOW DEEPLY I SLEPT last night. 36,201 feet, 11,034 metres deep*.
And I slept from about 3am till 8pm, that's about 17 hours. I was tired. All that cleaning has exhausted me. And that was natural sleep without pills or potions other than the prescribed methadone (back to the full dose, half-dosing made me sick about a day or a day-and-a-half later). I don't obsessively check times and doses with methadone. For someone who's been labelled neurotic more than once I'm remarkably unneurotic when it comes to detoxification. I have in the past cut myself down very steeply from methadone (and felt dreadful) and heroin (and felt fine). Not that methadone is FAR WORSE and a TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE TREATMENT FOR HEROIN ADDICTION but there you go!

I cut my drinking by about two thirds yesterday down to 2.75 cans, each can holds 500mls so I had somewhere around 100mls alcohol, 10 units. My maths fails me. Today I've had 2.25 cans, which would be around 80mls alcohol, 8 units.

I could swap over to benzodiazepines (e.g. Valium) and taper down on pills. Clinics do this (they don't give drink!) and lots of people do it informally. Or I could cut down by just drinking less. I don't know. A Smirnoff cloudy lemonade 700ml bottle is 4% ABV, only 28mls/2.8 units for £3 and that's really nice. Unfortunately in the past I tended to knock it down very quickly in compensation. I'm already drinking my drink mixed with fruit juice. This makes it less dehydrating but has the disadvantage of being a bit too tasty. Nicer than any premixed drink sold in the shops and I've tried a few.

So I'm not sure what to do, whether to cut down on drink or to switch to pills. The advantage of the pills is you lose the buzz of alcohol and once you cut down tiny you cannot feel anything at all. So it's actually cleaner. Alcohol is just too nice. Akh I don't know what to do.

The other thing is, clinics usually use Valium or more frequently Librium or Ativan (lorazepam). I don't trust the supply of Valium because a lot is if not fake then unreliable. The temazepam I got was OK. Normally if I got something like that I'd go for Valium, but I got temazepam on instinct because it's not internationally as well known and I've never heard of it being faked. (Bootleg meds are made in far-away countries; the manufacturers tend to go for the best-known and hence internationally most saleable product.) The main difference between the two is that Valium is a better muscle relaxant, temazepam is more sedating. (Temazepam is traded as Restoril in the USA.) Being as I'm not in it for either effect I suppose I have my answer. If I want a benzo, any one will do.

I still don't know what road to take. I'm very tempted to ring Mr Temazepam and make the switchover. I'm only posting this so you can follow my reasoning. Would I be doing something wrong to essentially replicate what hospitals and clinics do?

My fear is of simply derailing one habit into another. Alcohol is more dangerous than benzos. Both are addictive. Akh. I don't know.

Welcome to 2011 everyone :-)

It's 2am. BBC News Channel has started already on BBC1. Sometimes it comes on early. Whenever it does come on, I feel like I should sleep...

*Vityaz-1 Deep in the Mariana Trench is said to contain the deepest water on the face of the earth

Wikipedia: Alcohol Withdrawal
Wikipedia: Alcohol Detoxification

Happy New Year 2011


WE HAVE WORLD WAR III style fireworks going off on both ends of our street. Strains of Auld Lang Syne waft up from downstairs...

I'm not alcohol-free, but I'm probably sober enough to drive, for once..(!)

MAY THIS YEAR BE WAY BETTER THAN THE BIG-O-SHYTE OLD ONE!


VAGATOR HILL TOP (ANJUNA) GOA
2005 New Year's Eve (looks more like New Year's Day to me).
I've been here, New Year's Eve 2001:~<
The second tune is way better than the 1st




HOLYMEN: SIMON SAID
If you've been out all night (ooo you young people!) and require some psychedelic acidic visuals, have a look at this. One question though: what on earth are you doing reading my blog??
Akh, this tune has a weird oppressive beat. I just like the picture:


And a Trotterdonkey New Year...!

HAPPY 2010! ...!



Everything continues from before. Nothing in 2010 is new, because the seeds for everything were sown last year or before ("as ye sow, so shall ye reap"). 2010 marks an entire decade lost to heroin. It is always very difficult to date when the problem started because I was messing about with the drug intermittently for quite some years before I ever got truly addicted. (Indeed it was these early experiences and how easily I quit, like quitting smoking that gave me a very false impression of how serious and all-encompassing heroin addiction actually WAS.) Having said that these "dabblings" were only a mere three or four years at longest. (I could go months at a time without using... although the intervening intervals got shorter and shorter and shorter of course...) And before THAT (which I failed to realize for many years even constituted the same story) there was drug experimentation ~ in quite severe depressive states where NO sane person would experiment with drugs like LSD... all in all I have a drug history approaching 20 years. And right from the start I was being called a smackhead. Those people were joking because none of us used heroin. But they saw something in me...

So it's all about turning corners. I'm bored of this life. Utterly bored. So it's time to move on...

I hope everybody had a nice time last night. What did yous all do? Did anyone drink too much? Did anyone go out and yet not drink at all?...?

Boy George the reformed heroin addict (who has long been on the European DJ circuit) ~ just released from prison following a drug-frazzled attack on a gay escort ~ so he has more reason than most to steer clear of intoxicating substances ~ has opened a London club where NOBODY DRINKS OR TAKES DRUGS AT ALL!

And apparently a good time is had by all..!

I think I might go...


Oh well, I just trawled for George's alcohol-free clubnight... it seems he's still on a curfew (and says he lost £400,000 by not being allowed to appear on Celebrity Big Brother because of this ~ where is the sense in criminal justice STOPPING CRIMINALS EARNING AN HONEST LIVING? Ridiculous!



And NOW HERE WE GO: MY (selective) 2010 PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEXT DECADE!

~ crime and disorder and social breakdown spreads

~ climate problems increase. Food shortages (in selected items) become the norm

~ another terrorist atrocity of 9/11 magnitude in London, New York or somewhere of that ilk

~ civil liberties completely eroded in pursuit of these terrorists ~ utterly chucking baby out with bathwater..!

~ younger generation become increasingly rude, ignorant and intimidating. Especially in UK. Good manners become "old skool" thing of the past...

~ United States and Britain to become financially as well as morally bankrupt, due to bad business models and unresolved ridiculous borrowing crisis

~ Moral standards fall through the floor: e.g. Hollywood to incorporate hardcore porn into (some) mainstream movies

and so on and so on. Happy new year folks!!





SNOW PATROL: CHASING CARS
You might think you don't know this song, but trust me you surely do!
It got named Song Of The Decade on last night's cultural roundups. Well worth a click:



LEONA LEWIS: RUN
Snow Patrol had never had a UK #1 until Leona did this cover ~



Illustrated: Trotterdonkey and furry foals; No U-Turns!; this is what LSD looks like ~ 4 trips are about the size of a small postage stamp (and that's what I took, all at once, the first time I ever "dropped" the stuff. Lovely..!); Boy George...

Happy New Year 2010


I nearly forgot to say this... but have a brilliant one!
(And don't over-celebrate..!)

SUSAN BOYLE: WILD HORSES
SuBo is surely the international talent find of 2009; this is (what I think is) her best track ~



***STOP PRESS***
If you want to see SuBo actually sing the song live, this is from America's Jay Leno show...



HAVE A GREAT 2010!



 
Penyamun